Making Friends Costs Money

Being new to a city can be challenging. Apart from learning where the grocery store is and which freeway exit to take, you don't have friends right away. This has been a very lonely part of acclimating to Sacramento for me, and the hours of overtime my husband is now working doesn't help. 

It's been a little depressing up until this point, but I realized this past Sunday that I need a different attitude, one that doesn't look at all of Sacramento as scum. The few people I've met certainly seem to like it. The Capitol's tour guide told me that he grew up in Sacramento and wouldn't live anywhere else, so there has to be something to this city that I'm missing.

To that point, I've decided that there are friends in this city I haven't met yet. Sacramento has an estimated population of 485,000 people, there has to be at least one person, maybe even two, to be friends with. So where do I find them?

How does an adult find friends? It's so easy to do when you're in school or College. You have a built-in network of people you come to know and love for the rest of your life. I had the fortune of an extended "college" experience by working at Pepperdine, and finding friends through Bob's Masters program. But what about after college? Where do you go to find kindred spirits when your education ends and you move to a completely different place?

I figured any place where there is a group of people experiencing life together, there's potential friendship. So what groups could I be a part of?

     - Work

     - Church (Small groups, Bible Studies, etc)

     - Neighbors  

     - Clubs (Book clubs, running clubs, adventure sports groups, etc)

That's a pretty good list right there, right?

I thought so too. Armed with enthusiasm and hope, I took my list to the internet to see what groups I could become a part of. First on the list - Work. Well, that one is a daily search, but nothing I could count on currently. Next - Church. That's a great one with many potential friendship opportunities, and when Bob and I first got to Sacramento, we determined to find a church almost immediately. Thankfully we found a wonderful church within the first month, and after settling in, we approached someone about getting involved last weekend.

The person was so wonderful and chatted to us about everything the church offered. "Unfortunately, it's almost summer", she said, "and most of the groups and Bible studies are coming to a close. There might be a few groups still meeting in the summer, but it's not a guarantee."

Ok. Disappointing, but we can try and find someone who may still be meeting. In the meantime...next.

Neighbors. Everyone has neighbors, right? Especially in an apartment building. Well, thanks to the economy and the sad state of the apartment complex we rent, there are a lot of people moving out and no one moving in. I've seen a total of four people in our building since we moved here, and we are surrounded by empty apartments.

I'm left with clubs. No small thing, these are excellent venues to find friends. I'm a runner, what could be better than a running club? Or a book club? So fun!

I jumped on google, searching all of Sacramento's webpages for clubs of various sorts, and I found oodles to choose from. There are any manner of clubs for all sorts of interests in this city, and I'm sure there are lovely people taking part. I immediately went to sign up.

Guess what? Clubs cost money. A lot of money.

I know nothing is free, but for me to strap on my own running shoes and meet a group to run intervals for an hour is over $100 easy for a few months, and that's one of the cheaper groups. Every club has initiation fees, membership fees, extras tagged on, and of course equipment fees. I understand it, everything costs something. Races aren't free. Books aren't free. Adventure sports are completely expensive. I understand it. But still...

Making friends costs money.

Enthusiasm I have, discretionary income I don't. I won't let it deter me from trying. Somewhere, someone is in the same position I am, new to the city and looking for a friend. Maybe I'll start my own group, a free group. I don't know who would join, but I have to keep trying. After all, I am determined to flourish here.

Sigh. Being an adult is hard.